New Rep. Yay!
New Contract. Ugh.
INT. NOHO Apartment - day
A cell phone’s cracked screen quakes and screams a jarring RIIIIIIIIIIING that imitates a vintage telephone. PENNY, a talented actor having just fended off her father’s most recent plea for her to move back home, is negotiating cream cheese frosting on a 5-layer cake for celebrating her best friend’s guest-star-role-debut watching party, dashes over to the phone. Just in time, she catches the cell phone announcing on caller ID: “A-LIST AGENCY OF YOUR DREAMS.” She tries not to panic.
PENNY
Hullo, it’s Penny!
ASSISTANT (O.S.)
Hi. You OK? You sound—
PENNY
Oh, yeah! Totally!
ASSISTANT (O.S.)
Great. I’m Alfred A. List’s assistant. Your meeting went great, we reviewed your materials again, and our whole team wants to work with you. We’d like to offer you representation.
PENNY
(stifling a squelch)
OMG that’s amazing! You guys were great too!
ASSISTANT (O.S.)
If that means yes, I’ll email you some instructions and our contract.
PENNY
Great! Thanks!
ASSISTANT (O.S.)
Cool. Bye.
Penny is bursting and has a private dance party with her frosting spatula. No one is watching. Frosting splatters on the cabinets, the floor. She doesn’t care. It’s the best day of her new life in Hollywood.
Then, it dawns on her.
PENNY
(to herself)
Crap. Did he say contract?
YES, YES HE DID. CONTRACT.
The binding, legally enforceable kind. The kind that determines how much your rep gets paid and how. The kind that might tie you to them for a year, or more. The kind that tells you how long you have to stay with them, whether or not you’re happy with their services.
but my rep is supposed to look after me, right ?
Sure, but not until they’re your rep. Not until you sign that contract.
OK, i’m smart and i can figure it out.
Of course you’re smart! If you weren’t, you wouldn’t have gotten this far in one of the most unforgiving pursuits on the planet! But sometimes it’s not about smart. Why do the words seem more foreign than Shakespeare? And what’s the difference between a GSA and a standard SAG-AFTRA agency form? And why a power of attorney? Why does it sound like you’re signing away your first-born?!
But aren’t lawyers expensive?
Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. How much did you pay for your last set of headshots of how many looks? 3? 5? Add on the cost of the makeup professional? And the wardrobe choices you forgot to return? And retouches, printing, and uploads to all the sites? Your art is your business. Businesses have professionals to look after their accounting, management, marketing (headshots, websites, postcards… yes those all count, even in the 21st century!), and legal. After all, you don’t use portrait mode for your headshots anymore, do you?
YEAH BUT I don’t know any entertainment attorneys and forget knowing one who GETs me!
I get you. And I got you. I’m a real entertainment attorney. Check out my LinkedIn. But I’m also a real actor. Check out my IMDB. I don’t dabble. If you want someone legit to look at that agency or manager contract for a flat fee you can swallow, say for the price of a 3-look session, send me your contact info below and I’ll get in touch.